


it is your fault

by Decayingfurby



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, S3E3, byler, so i tried to fix it lmao, this episode killed me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22620184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Decayingfurby/pseuds/Decayingfurby
Summary: It is your fault I don’t like girls. It’s all your fault.
Relationships: Will Byers/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 3
Kudos: 131





	it is your fault

_the blond boy in the red trunks is holding your head underwater because he is trying to kill you_

_and you deserve it, you do, and you know this_

_and you are ready to die in this swimming pool_

_because you wanted to touch his hands and lips and this means your life is over anyway_

_You’re in eighth grade. You know these things_

_You know how to ride a dirt bike, and you know how to do long division_

_and you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unless he keeps his mouth shut, which you didn’t do,_

_because you are weak and hollow and it doesn’t matter anymore_

-richard siken

* * *

It’s scientifically possible to die from heartbreak. 

Yes, it’s a rare and probably coincidental phenomenon. But it still happens. Sometimes our emotions get the better of us, and can be too overwhelming, which results in you becoming part of the small percentage of people this unfortunate cause of death happens to. 

Here’s the symptoms of broken heart syndrome, which a normal fourteen year old boy wouldn’t know without reading about it in a book he randomly picked out at the library; the most common are angina (chest pain) and shortness of breath. Arrhythmias (irregular heartbeats) or cardiogenic shock could also occur, but cardiogenic shock is also the most common cause of a heart attack. If your heart can’t pump enough blood throughout your body, consider yourself six feet under. 

There’s a page torn from a library science book about broken heart syndrome tucked into his drawer, and if he feels like reading about what could possibly be his cause of death, he takes it out and reads it under the dim light of his bedside lamp. 

Will Byers is not, in fact, dying from a broken heart, although he feels like he is. 

It’s raining, which really doesn’t help with the gravity of the situation. Will looks down at the bat in his hand, and suddenly it’s the heaviest thing in the world, so he drops it like it’s a ton of bricks. He’s brought down to his knees by the overwhelming flurry of emotions that fill him to the brim, and he’s sobbing. He’s crying, and it’s wet and bone chilling, and Castle Byers is a pile of wood and memories by his feet. 

“Stupid _,_ ” he hisses, curling his fingers in his shirt, as if pawing at his heart will make the emotions go away. They don’t, because it’s not that easy, he knows this. He knows the way he feels is _dumb_ , and _wrong_. He knows the way he looks at his best friend could get him killed. The gut churning feeling he gets whenever Mike and El are close, so close it’s nauseating. The laughing, the touching, the glances, the kissing. It makes him want to pull out his hair. 

‘ _It’s not my fault you don’t like girls,_ ’ Mike spits, even though it is. It’s always been that way. The butterflies in his stomach, the lingering stares, the desire to be by his friends side any and all times, because he just can’t get enough of him. The way his chest tightened when Mike smiled at him, the longing he felt, wishing that was his hand Mike was holding, or his cheek Mike caressed. 

It’s so fucking stupid. 

Will puts his face in his hands and sobs, because that’s all he can think to do. The thought of getting sick from the rain is far in the back of his mind, covered by his own stupid emotions and wishing he could just _die_ . Broken heart syndrome is a rare medical anomaly, one that makes him wonder suddenly, ‘ _What would it feel like? It’s supposed to feel like a heart attack, or something like it. Would my chest convulse, would I lose my breath? Would I writhe and spit like I’m having a seizure until my body goes limp? Would the coroner’s discover the cause of death,_ Mike Wheeler _carved onto my heart?_ ’

It is Mike’s fault. Or maybe it’s his own fault, and he just wants to be mad. But Mike has no idea, can’t have any idea how much Will…

_God being a teenager fucking sucks,_ he thinks, sitting there in the mud and debris of his former sanctuary. He thinks maybe he should go back home, because it’s warm there, and his mom would have a cow if he got sick. She’s always so worried about his well being, but not as suffocating as the years before, although he doesn’t really blame her. He wonders if she knew, really knew, would she still love him? Would Jonathan?

_Of course they would,_ the little voice in the back of his head reassured him. _They’re not your father. They’re not Mike._

“Will!” 

The voice sounds like it’s yards away, even though it’s standing right above him, and he looks up, staring at the cause of death himself. Mike and Lucas are wearing layers of clothing to protect them from the rain, and Will isn’t, because he’s stupid, and he doesn’t care. Lucas says something Will doesn’t make out. All he can hear and see is Mike, kneeling beside him. 

Why do the prettiest and most captivating people have to be so _ugly?_

“Will, I’m sorry!”

_No you’re not._

“I was being an asshole, I should have thought about your feelings.”

_But you didn’t._

“It really was a cool campaign, it’s just…”

“You guys have your own lives. And I can’t be apart of it, because I don’t like girls.” Will’s voice sounds hoarse from the screaming he had been doing, and Mike stares at him with sad eyes. “But you’re wrong, y’know?” 

Mike scans his face, looks up at Lucas, then back to Will. “I know, it was wrong of us to ignore you like that. But you shouldn’t stay out in the rain much longer, you’ll get sick-”

Will isn’t sure what does it. The cold, how jumbled his emotions are, some sort of subconscious thing? Whatever is was, he feels himself collapse sideways, swept up and caught by Mike, who held onto him tightly. Lucas startles and asks Will if he’s okay, but Will doesn’t answer him, instead burying his face in Mike’s chest with a broken sob. There are tears streaming down his face, and Mike has his hand on his back, caressing gently. 

_It is your fault I don’t like girls. It’s all your fault._

He feels his heart beat out of his chest as he pulls back, and Mike’s looking at him with so much concern Will is scared this isn’t real. His lip quivers and he sucks in a breath, deciding if he didn’t face death head on there’d be worse consequences. Lucas makes a small noise of surprise when Will seizes up, kissing Mike, and he expects Mike to pull away. To push him off, cursing at him, calling him dirty. To kill him, because boys who like a boy is a dead boy, and Will was dying from broken heart syndrome anyway. 

But he doesn’t. Mike kisses back, and Will almost doesn’t feel the familiar tingling on the back of his neck. 


End file.
